11 Lessons Learned by a School Counselor

This year I had an internship as a school counselor at a high school. As this experience has recently come to an end, I have begun to reflect on the lessons I learned during my time as an intern. Here are just some of the things that come to mind (in no particular order):

1) It takes a looooong time to earn the trust of a teenager who has been continually let down by the adults in his or her life.

2) Familial influence determines so much of how adolescents see the world: relationships, school, work ethic, how to show feelings, definition of success, etc.

3) Negative influences can be overcome, but it takes a lot of time and effort to reverse the effects of abuse or neglect.

4) Each day is new. A fresh start can be a good thing or a bad thing. Just because yesterday was a good or bad day does not mean today will be the same.

5) No one is a blank slate. Everyone has a story. Taking time to learn that story and giving students a voice can be more important than any other lesson in high school.

6) There are a multitude of influences affecting adolescents every day for good or for bad. You can be one of them. Do not be discouraged by the influences you cannot control, but instead focus on having a positive impact by doing what you can do.

7) There is an overwhelming number of students who have considered committing suicide at least once. Do not be afraid to ask hard questions. You could save a person's life.

8) Students appreciate having someone care about them, even if they do not always show it.

9) Sometimes it is the students who seem like they are the hardest to reach or the most resistant that end up appreciating you the most.

10) When a student's situation seems overwhelming and hopeless to you as a counselor, imagine how that student must feel. Rather than adding to the discouragement, be an encouragement and help him or her to see there is always hope.

11) Taking time to tell students specific things you appreciate about them or ways you have seen them grow over the year can do wonders for both the self-confidence of the students and your relationships with them.

I could probably continue to add to the list and elaborate on each separate point because I have learned so much this year. I could attach several stories to each lesson, but I do not want to break confidentiality or make this entry impossibly long. It is my hope that educators, including myself, will look at this list on a hard day and remember that all the hard work and emotional exhaustion is worth it.

You can make a difference. You can have a positive impact. You are important in the lives of the students you work with.