Legacy

As I come to the end of both my undergraduate studies and my time as a student teacher, I can't help but wonder what kind of an impact I made with my time at OU and at the high school where I taught. Today I was reminded of the song "Legacy" by Nicole Nordeman and I think the chorus is really powerful:

"I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy"

Throughout my involvement in the leadership of Campus Crusade for Christ, I have poured myself into serving others. Now I'll be the first to admit that there were plenty of times that I did not do enough. There were plenty of opportunities to go deeper in conversations and relationships where I just failed to step up. I let fear and busyness get the best of me which is a frequent weakness. However I would like to think that I have had some type of impact on the lives of the people around me...whether that is in ministry, classes, or organizations.

"How will they remember me?"

I wonder how people will remember me. Unfortunately, as far as Bible study and discipleship, there are very few people in my line who will continue my ministry after I'm gone. With that being said, I am so excited for what is happening with the freshman class and in particular on West Green. It's so cool to see that even though I may have failed in spiritual multiplication, God is still faithful because He will still raise up men and women who are on fire for Him with a passion to reach this campus. As a student teacher, I heard lots of stories about other student teachers...mostly not about things the teacher would have wanted them to remember. So I have to wonder what they will say about me now that I'm gone. Will I just be another one of the many OU students who have made their way through the school or will they recognize something different?

"Did I choose to love?"

Why is it so hard to love some people? When situations were tough and conflicts arose, did I choose to show love rather than anger and frustration? When there were personality conflicts did I choose to overwhelm them with the love of Christ or did I make them feel like they were worthless? It's interesting to think about love as a choice rather than a feeling. We can't really control how we feel about things most of the time, but we CAN choose to love people because Christ loved us: "We love because he first loved us" [1 John 4:19]. We must love by faith even when it's hard.

"Did I point to You enough to make a mark on things?"

It's always a difficult thing to figure out how to do ministry in a public school. My experience in a high school was just a glimpse into the difficulties of breaking down barriers and sharing the love of Christ without being able to openly discuss Christianity. It's all about living out your faith in a way that people recognize that there is something different about you. You hope they ask you about it, but it's not a typical behavior for high school students. And sometimes it involves taking a risk and being bold in conversations. There were definitely times this quarter when I was unsure of the boundaries and limits of what I could legally discuss about spirituality with my students, but when you feel the Holy Spirit prompting and guiding you to say something, there's no time for questioning, hesitation, or backing down. It's cool to think about the fact that God could put you in a certain situation for a very specific purpose. For example, He could have put me in this particular school for this short period of time just to affect one specific student. Maybe my whole purpose for this experience was to reach one person who He desperately wants to see come into a relationship with Him. What a privilege to be able to serve such an awesome God. And when you think about things with this kind of perspective, you realize that it's okay if you didn't get to have spiritual conversations with every single person with whom you came into contact.

Last thought: Because I am staying in Athens for two years for grad school, I'm excited to be able to continue to build on what God has already done through me here at OU. When you look back at your time, what kind of legacy will you leave? Underclassmen, listen up! You can already commit yourselves to being the kind of people who will leave a legacy on this campus. Don't wait until you're leaving and it's too late!