Legacy

As I come to the end of both my undergraduate studies and my time as a student teacher, I can't help but wonder what kind of an impact I made with my time at OU and at the high school where I taught. Today I was reminded of the song "Legacy" by Nicole Nordeman and I think the chorus is really powerful:

"I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy"

Throughout my involvement in the leadership of Campus Crusade for Christ, I have poured myself into serving others. Now I'll be the first to admit that there were plenty of times that I did not do enough. There were plenty of opportunities to go deeper in conversations and relationships where I just failed to step up. I let fear and busyness get the best of me which is a frequent weakness. However I would like to think that I have had some type of impact on the lives of the people around me...whether that is in ministry, classes, or organizations.

"How will they remember me?"

I wonder how people will remember me. Unfortunately, as far as Bible study and discipleship, there are very few people in my line who will continue my ministry after I'm gone. With that being said, I am so excited for what is happening with the freshman class and in particular on West Green. It's so cool to see that even though I may have failed in spiritual multiplication, God is still faithful because He will still raise up men and women who are on fire for Him with a passion to reach this campus. As a student teacher, I heard lots of stories about other student teachers...mostly not about things the teacher would have wanted them to remember. So I have to wonder what they will say about me now that I'm gone. Will I just be another one of the many OU students who have made their way through the school or will they recognize something different?

"Did I choose to love?"

Why is it so hard to love some people? When situations were tough and conflicts arose, did I choose to show love rather than anger and frustration? When there were personality conflicts did I choose to overwhelm them with the love of Christ or did I make them feel like they were worthless? It's interesting to think about love as a choice rather than a feeling. We can't really control how we feel about things most of the time, but we CAN choose to love people because Christ loved us: "We love because he first loved us" [1 John 4:19]. We must love by faith even when it's hard.

"Did I point to You enough to make a mark on things?"

It's always a difficult thing to figure out how to do ministry in a public school. My experience in a high school was just a glimpse into the difficulties of breaking down barriers and sharing the love of Christ without being able to openly discuss Christianity. It's all about living out your faith in a way that people recognize that there is something different about you. You hope they ask you about it, but it's not a typical behavior for high school students. And sometimes it involves taking a risk and being bold in conversations. There were definitely times this quarter when I was unsure of the boundaries and limits of what I could legally discuss about spirituality with my students, but when you feel the Holy Spirit prompting and guiding you to say something, there's no time for questioning, hesitation, or backing down. It's cool to think about the fact that God could put you in a certain situation for a very specific purpose. For example, He could have put me in this particular school for this short period of time just to affect one specific student. Maybe my whole purpose for this experience was to reach one person who He desperately wants to see come into a relationship with Him. What a privilege to be able to serve such an awesome God. And when you think about things with this kind of perspective, you realize that it's okay if you didn't get to have spiritual conversations with every single person with whom you came into contact.

Last thought: Because I am staying in Athens for two years for grad school, I'm excited to be able to continue to build on what God has already done through me here at OU. When you look back at your time, what kind of legacy will you leave? Underclassmen, listen up! You can already commit yourselves to being the kind of people who will leave a legacy on this campus. Don't wait until you're leaving and it's too late!

Where is your mission field?

When I pictured my last quarter as an undergrad at OU, I never imagined it would look like this. As an underclassman dreaming about my senior year, I thought I would be able to take it easy for a change. I thought it would be one big party in The Front Room or Donkey everyday, and we would be able to enjoy our last weeks together by being inseparable. I thought my classes would be easy...because seniors only take classes like bowling and horseback riding, right? Wrong. For most education majors, spring quarter of senior year equals student teaching. I can honestly say this has been one of the most challenging experiences I have had in college, but also one of the most rewarding.

I come home from high school on the verge of collapsing every day. While it's true that some days my students make me crazy, most of my exhaustion comes from a personal choice. Now, I know it's crazy to think that someone would wear himself/herself down on purpose, but let me explain. I dedicate my energy to making the most of this experience, and I am so invested in these high school students that I barely have anything left at the end of the day. Why would I do that? Why not just do enough to get by? After all, student teaching is pass/fail.

I choose to give everything I have to these students because I view the high school as my mission field. I think it's interesting that people make a distinction between Christians and evangelical Christians or missionaries and non-missionaries. As Christians, we have all been given the command to go:

"Then Jesus came to them and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.'"
[Matthew 28:18-20]

Therefore we are all missionaries. Whether we are involved in vocational ministry or live out our faith in the workplace, we are called to dedicate our lives to serving Christ. This will obviously look different for different people. Isn't is cool that God gives us specific gifts and passions so that we can serve him in a unique way?

So how will you dedicate your life to serving Christ? Will you go overseas spreading the gospel to unreached people groups? Will you join alongside college students doing ministry in the US? Will you rock the business world by living radically for Christ rather than being driven by success?

Christ has called me to serve him by reaching out to high school students. My mission field may not look like yours, but that's what's so great about it. Think about how many people might not be reached if we were all focusing on the same demographic. I can serve Christ in the public school system because I know that others are serving him in France. Maybe your passion isn't to work with adolescents. Maybe you want to do medical missions. We have the freedom to serve Christ in the way He has made us. What a beautiful thing it is to have such diversity in such a unified body!

My mission field is a high school classroom. Where is your mission field?

What if tomorrow never comes?

Yesterday, I read another Spanish poem that really caught my attention. It's really cool to see concepts and verses that you know from the Bible expressed in poetry from the seventeenth century. Sometimes it can be really hard to find ways to share Christ with your classmates, and so it's sweet to be able to share those Bible verses openly with an entire class.

The first section of the poem expresses Christ's desire to enter our lives, but counters that desire with the hardness of our hearts. There is an extended metaphor throughout the poem comparing our lives/bodies to a house where our hearts are represented by a door. Christ is knocking on the door hoping that the person will open and let him in. Sound familiar?

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me"

[Revelation 3:20]

But then the poet wraps up the poem with a wake-up call saying, "Listen, you keep ignoring Christ thinking that you'll answer Him tomorrow, but you say that everyday!" So there's a sense of carpe diem and seizing today because tomorrow is not guaranteed. It's just so hard to walk around campus or talk to people who say things like, "I'll pay attention to religion when I'm older. I just want to have fun while I'm in college." Getting older is not guaranteed. Only one thing is for sure, and it's the fact that we're all going to die. No one ever thinks it's coming until it's too late! So consider this your wake-up call! I know I've been evaluating a lot of things in my life along those lines lately...

So here's the poem. Hopefully you will get something from it as well:

¿Qué tengo yo que mi amistad procuras?
¿Qué interés se te sigue, Jesús mío,
que a mi puerta, cubierto de rocío,
pasas las noches del invierno escuras?

¡Oh, cuánto fueron mis entrañas duras,
pues no te abrí! ¡Qué estraño desvarío
si de mi ingratitud el yelo frío
secó las llagas de tus plantas puras!

¡Cuántas veces el ángel me decía:
Alma, asómate agora a la ventana,
verás con cuánto amor llamar porfía!

¡Y cuántas, hermosura soberana:
Mañana le abriremos -- respondía --,
para lo mismo responder mañana!

Translation:

What do I have that you seek my friendship?

What profit is there in it for you, my Jesus,

that at my door, covered with dew

you should spend the dark winter nights?

Oh, how hard my heart was

for me not to open to you! What a strange madness

if the cold ice of my ingratitude

froze the wounds of your pure feet!

How often my angel said to me,

"Soul, come now to the window

and you will see how lovingly he persists in knocking!"

And how often, oh sovereign beauty,

I would reply, "I will open to him tomorrow,"

only to make the same reply again the following day!

Spanish Renaissance Poetry

At the beginning of this quarter, I was far from excited to take a class called Renaissance and Baroque Poetry of Spain. I've never really been a huge fan of poetry in general, but imagine all of the metaphors and symbolism being in another language. However, the class is not as bad as I imagined it would be. I have had the opportunity to read several Spanish poems written about Christ throughout the quarter. I don't really know how to explain it, but there's something about expressing the glory of Christ in another language that is really powerful. Take, for instance, Christ's crucifixion. After reading about it and hearing it often, sometimes it can lose some of its power. However, when written as poetry, the message seems to be aimed right at your heart. Reading the gospel in another language allows one to understand on a deeper level because it is expressed in a way that that person is not used to. This may not make sense to anyone else, especially if you don't know another language, but at least maybe you can understand the idea of the gospel in poetry form being really powerful when you read the Psalms. So here's just one of the many examples and probably more will come in the future:

Rimas sacras XIV (Lope de Vega)
Pastor, que con tus silbos amorosos
me despertaste del profundo sueño;
tú, que hiciste cayado de este leño
en que tiendes los brazos poderosos:

vuelve los ojos a mi fe piadosos,
pues te confieso por mi amor y dueño
y la palabra de seguirte empeño
tus dulces silbos y tus pies hermosos.

Oye, Pastor, que por amores mueres,
no te espante el rigor de mis pecados,
pues tan amigo de rendidos eres.

Espera, pues, y escucha mis cuidados...
pero ¿cómo te digo que me esperes
si estás para esperar los pies clavados?

Translation (much is lost here, but so you get the point):
Shepherd who with your fond whistling calls
have awakened me from deep sleep;
you who have made a crook out of that piece of wood
upon which you stretch out your powerful arms:

turn your kind eyes upon my faith,
for I confess you as my lord and love
and pledge you my word to follow
your sweet whistling calls and your beautiful feet.

Listen, shepherd, since you die for love,
don't be frightened at the evil of my sins,
for you are such a friend of the helpless.

Wait, then, and hear my troubles...
But why should I tell you to wait for me
if you are constrained to wait by the nails through your feet?